Year 2011 (January)

This is the year of a beginning of my 'second stage' of life.. i am reborn!...

hahahaha.. wonder what does it means?

Well.. i have lost in touch with my blog world since year 2008... when that was years struggling to sustain to be a wife, mother and daughter.. ALL in one.. and clearly i have lost that very one battle which i have least to think of it will ends up that way..

I have divorced my husband who i have known more than 15 years.. who i thought i could live the rest of my life with...

It is sad, devastating, heart churning, it is like a big giant trailer just hit you right into your face n body.. when he said he doesn't have the feeling towards me anymore.. He doesn't missed me as he used to be anymore... He gave up trying to be better.. He gave up the last hope (that was my hope) to actually go for marriage counselling to see the problems... He gave up to try it out with me to have a better life ...... He just want it to end... to cut story short, I just don't want to have a man that can tell me straight to my face that he doesn't love me anymore.. I just don't want to hold on to a man physical just because we have a son together..

NOW.. I have renamed this blog as It's a beautiful life..... hahahha.. sound so commercial or something in the movie or books.... hahhaha.. it has meanings!.

It remind me on how beautiful life is to have my family and friends around.. they are the one who supporting me when am down in mess.. not my husband.. not my boyfriend.. but my families and friends.. and the only person that keeps me alive is my SON..

Because of them.. i promised myself i will not let anything to pull me down and i will live my life beautifully.. and stronger each days.. just like a lotus flower grows out of mud to be pure, clean and beautiful..

I will learn from mistake and i thank my ex husband to make me open my eyes that it is not only him i will grow and live my life with.. Thank you for all the days you have loved me and the good days we have both spent.. I will remember those happy days.. even you have give up on your family you have built..